a girl who knows

I'm a 19 year old girl.

I was sexually abused by my high school teacher when I was 16. He told me he loved me and called me his girlfriend....and his daughter.

He was 52.

My case went to court, and I have been in therapy for about two years. This is a subject that is so misunderstood in society.. I want to help everyone to understand.

I know there are other girls out there experiencing this, because it's more common than we want to believe..and I want to talk to them. I wish there had been a blog or site like this when I needed help.

If you have questions, or think your teacher is crossing the line, or maybe just want a friend..I'll be waiting.

TV shows that have had student-teacher plots

  • Friends - Frank Jr and his teacher Mrs Knight (Alice) begin to date, and eventually marry on the show.
  • Gossip Girl - Dan and Ms Carr, a new teacher at Constance. Some students start a rumour that the two were together, and Ms Carr is fired. Immediately after she is fired, she has sex with Dan reasoning that it is okay since “[she] doesn’t teach at Constance anymore so there is no student-teacher relationship.”
  • Glee - Noah Puckerman and Mrs Corcoran (Shelby) bond over Noah’s biological, and Shelby’s adopted daughter. Shelby kisses Noah and later has sex with him.

Anyone see a pattern here? Teacher-student abuse is okay if it’s against male students, and if they are eighteen then WHEW you’ve passed the checkpoint. It’s just romance, people. Women don’t abuse!!!!11

Jezbel responds to Glee’s student-teacher episode

Like I said, I contacted Jezebel and implored them to write an article about Glee’s latest story plot - a male student and female teacher having a sexual relationship, which makes me want to spit. I even pointed out Rachel’s former crush on Mr Schu which was quickly explained as being inappropriate (and rightly so), which Jezebel was unaware of. So I’m glad I could help jump-start their response on this disgusting plot. Emails work, people!

While last week’s episode of Glee sparked protests from parents groups, thankfully tonight’s episode featured more wholesome plotlines. Now that we’ve moved past two gay high school seniors talking about losing their virginity, the show went back to a non-scandalous topic: student/teacher sex. The episode opens with Puck defending his love for Shelby in a voice over, saying:

“Don’t judge me, I’m 18. Besides, the age difference isn’t that crazy. Just look at Ashton and Demi, Indiana Jones and Ally McBeal, Woody Allen and that Chinese girl. I get that teacher-student relationships are tricky, but aren’t all realationships? I’m willing to put in the work for this one. When she looks at me, I don’t feel like a boy anymore. I feel like the man that I’ve always wanted to be. A family man.”

This segues into a fantasy performance of “Hot For Teacher,” with several close-ups on Shelby’s ass. When the boys finish the song at a glee club rehearsal, Rachel notes that it’s inappropriate, because the writers seem to think that if they make some meta reference to the show’s flaws that gives them license to do whatever they want.

This plot line is particularly irritating because it actually works aside from the student/teacher element. Puck and Shelby’s relationship was well-developed, and it seems like we’re seeing him mature into man who could be a good father. However, noting that Puck is 18 doesn’t excuse the fact that Shelby is his teacher. Shelby mulling over a relationship with Puck is flat-out wrong. While Mr. Schue instantly squashed Rachel’s one-episode crush on him, the writers think it’s okay to portray this relationship as romantic because the student is a guy. Yet for some reason, the Parents Television Council has yet to make any angry declarations about Glee sending kids the message that sometimes having a relationship with your teacher can be sexy.


http://jezebel.com/5859972/glee—santanas-secret-is-out

theawkwardxenoglossophile asked: Hey, hey, hey! Just me, stopping in again. Hello and good luck. We all believe in your strength to do it and want the best outcome :3

Thanks for taking the time to tell me that. I wasn’t having the best day about it in regards to court but that makes me feel better :)

Dr Drew interviews Courtney Stodden and her 51 year old, sexually abusive husband. I hate the way he speaks to them and the questions he asks. They discuss her breasts, her behavior, HER provocative appearance…but not the biggest issue which is the fact that THERE IS A PREDATOR SITTING ON HIS STAGE ABUSING A TEENAGE GIRL.

If she was plain faced and didn’t dress like this, I bet people would be outraged. Instead, it’s just a joke. You can see people in the audience laughing.

Anonymous asked: do you know anything about repressed memories? i'm worried...

I don’t, and I’m not a doctor or a professional so I wouldn’t want to give you any advice or information based on that.. I think the best thing you could do if you think you have repressed memories is to make an appointment with a therapist, or a counselor. They are best suited to help you work out any issues you might have under the surface. :)

Feel free to message me again if you want to talk, or if I could help you at all

A response from Jezebel.com..

After watching that disgusting episode of Glee, I went straight to my laptop to fire off an email to Jezebel.com. I’d noticed they’d made mention of the inappropriate scene from the episode, but not of the double standards, and definitely not to the degree I’d have hoped for. Within hours, I had a response. I was pretty irate after the episode, but getting an immediate response from such a popular website made me feel a little better.

Thanks for pointing this out. I actually forgot about Rachel’s 40-minute crush on Mr. Schue! I suspect that they’ll justify the relationship by saying Puck is 17 or 18 while Rachel was 15 at the time, but I agree that it’s still wildly inappropriate. I’m assuming the next episode isn’t going to start with Shelby explaining to Puck that the kiss was wrong and leaving town for good, so I’ll definitely be getting into this more in a future recap.

Writing to the media helps……even in tiny bits and pieces. I hope she really does discuss this in a future post. This issue needs more media coverage. If this bothers you like it bothers me, write about it.

Glee mocks teacher sexual abuse - thanks for the double standards, Ryan Murphy!

I was disappointed in Glee after watching the latest episode today.

To say the least.

I had always respected Glee for their integrity. They supported a variety of issues on their show - mental & physical disabilities, insecurity, paraplegia, OCD, homophobia, racism, discrimination….the list goes on. But for some reason, while they support some issues, they mock others.


This week’s episode featured a female teacher (Mrs Corcoran) kissing a male student (Puck), which was portrayed as romantic and tender. As if that wasn’t offensive and appalling enough to me, I remembered this…

Back in Glee’s earlier seasons, there was an episode where a female student (Rachel) was pining for a male teacher (Mr Schue). Mr Schue responded to her advances by singing Don’t Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl - making it clear that her fantasies were inappropriate, and that they would never come to fruition. In other words, the show made it clear that a teacher making ANY advances towards a student is wildly inappropriate, and that it’s the authority figure’s job to say no.

BUT WAIT! Didn’t they just send a completely different message this past episode? There was no rejection, or morality for that matter. There was no message about the conduct being inappropriate or wrong. In fact, they played the kiss out to be a romantic gesture, even foreshadowing some sort of “relationship” in the future episodes.

We are sitting on a fat double standard. Glee says it’s wrong for a male teacher to make advances on a female student, but it’s cute and romantic for a female teacher to make advances on a male student. Regardless of the double standard, the fact that they are pursuing this storyline is outrageous. They wouldn’t dare create a storyline where bullying gays was okay (which it isn’t), but they can mock teacher sexual abuse. I know we’re all sick of the double standards in sexual abuse (the idea that women don’t abuse little boys - they seduce them!) so if this is something that bothers you, join me in writing to Glee - or to any gossip website you frequent. I’ll be writing to them immediately.

I just lost my respect for you, Ryan Murphy.

When the media does something that bugs me, I contact them.

Anderson Cooper featured Courtney Stodden’s story on his “Ridiculist” recently. While I love Anderson Cooper, he was ignorant and insulting in the way he discussed the story. So instead of bitching about it to myself, I sent him a letter. I have no idea whether anyone from his show will ever read it or even care, but it made me feel better. However….it’s beyond irritating to have to edit and re-edit your letter fifty times because it doesn’t fit into the 1500 character limit. Why the hell do they have to do that!!

So here’s my letter, and please excuse the grammar and structure.. I had to condense the shit out of it. (I just said shit and I’m talking about grammar..)

After hearing of Courtney Stodden on the Ridiculist I was hurt. Courtney is not in a relationship with Doug. She is only 17, and he is sexually abusing her. I was 16 when I was sexually abused by my 52y/o teacher, and it pains me to hear people discuss this with such ignorance.

I am disappointed that you couldn’t see past Courtney’s facade to the issues within. And if you did, why didn’t you discuss it on your show? Sexualized behavior is a common symptom of child sexual abuse. She is a child - not the adult she tries to prove herself to be. While you speak strongly about things like homophobia, you seem to ignore issues that deserve equal attention.

It is frustrating that people are not focusing on Doug. He is a predator - regardless of the fact that their actions are technically legal. Saying a 52y/o fell in love with a 16y/o girl is a sickening euphemism. Sexual abuse like this is not forcible or violent, so people assume it is consensual - but you cannot consent to what you can’t understand. Courtney may appear to be making a choice, but she likely wouldn’t choose to do something if she knew it would leave her psychologically crippled.

Please don’t refer to this story as a relationship. I know your words are dripping with sarcasm, but if you cannot discuss this issue at length, then make it clear that this is manipulation and sexual abuse so that the next time a young girl comes forward to confess something like this, she is not treated the way that I was.

If something like this, or something else equally as offensive or ignorant catches your ear in the media, try writing about it. Contact the station/TV show/website. I have done this more than once, and actually received a response once from a popular website (Jezebel.com)…so don’t assume your voice won’t be heard!

It’s hard to feel like you can make a difference as one single person, but one story could make these people think. If Anderson Cooper received five emails like mine, each about a person offended and hurt by his ignorance, he might put more thought into it.

Here’s to you, media!

Courtney Stodden is a victim, not a slut.

I’m so sick of hearing all of these ignorant opinions about the Courtney Stodden controversy. If you are unfamiliar, Courtney Stodden is a seventeen year old girl, who was sixteen when her parents consented for her to marry actor Doug Hutchison….age fifty-one. Seen below:

It was hard for me to find a picture of her that didn’t seem to classify as child porn.

Because of her overly sexualized behavior and icky facade, people hate on her. I totally get that. She’s annoying as shit. But what drives me crazy is that NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE OLD PEDOPHILE ON HER ARM. They are so wrapped up in her behavior that no one has said “hey wait a minute, that guy should be in jail.”

Also, let me remind everyone…sexualized behavior is a common symptom of child sexual abuse. I wouldn’t be surprised if Courtney were sexually abused as a child, maybe by her dad, since both her parents happily consented to her marriage TO A FIFTY ONE YEAR OLD MAN. Who is four years older than her dad.

Yeah, it’s gross that she acts this way, but see past her porno facade. She is seriously messed up inside. I don’t know how it could be more obvious. Healthy, happy people don’t act like this..and certainly not healthy, happy teenagers. She’s a victim. Clearly no one is protecting her from the abuse she’s suffering at the hands of this guy. No one gives a fat F about this type of abuse, because it’s not forcible or violent. But you can’t consent to something that you can’t understand. She was only sixteen when this started, and that is not near old enough to understand the ramifications of this situation. I really doubt she would choose to do something she knew would psychologically cripple her later. She’s been manipulated into this abuse because she can’t understand that. And her parents can’t be the ones to step in and end it because they’re pimping her out to some rich predator.

People are forgetting that she is only sixteen, because she’s trying so hard to prove herself to be the adult that she’s not. Courtney and Doug are not in love. They are not in a relationship. Doug simply found a comfy little loophole for child molestation, and Courtney’s parents are evil trolls who condone and encourage it.

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS LEGAL

A wolf in sheep’s clothing is really just a sheep in wolf’s clothing.

I was just out for a walk, and guess who drove by as I turned off of my street? Yep..

When I see anyone in that family, it always takes me longer than everyone else to recognize them. I’m not sure why - maybe it’s because my mind immediately goes into protection-mode - so this time it took me a good three seconds to connect the dots. My friend muttered an “oh my God” and I looked up to find him staring at us, clearly nervous, maybe nauseated.. Then he sped up and turned the corner.

Usually I’d be ready to throw up, shaking or just blank-faced and numb, but this time I didn’t feel much of anything. Honestly, I could give a fart.

(I still want you guys to take me seriously but sometimes we all need to loosen up by saying ‘fart’ once in a while.)

Usually I’d think, oh God, I’m not wearing any makeup, I look so bad. He’s probably laughing at me. This time I thought, good. I look my age. I’m 19. It was only two years ago that you did this. And I have a boyfriend who thinks I’m pretty.

I kept walking, and barely gave it a thought for the rest of the walk. I know he was nervous, because if he wanted to intimidate me he wouldn’t have been the one to flee the scene.

Guess the big bad wolf is just a meek little sheep.